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Don’t let her hold you back.” Men tell me all the time that this is the kind of advice they are being given. And it can feel like such a relief to hear that her rage and withdrawal and mood swings are not your fault. I say this not to shame you, but to hopefully help make all this a little easier on you. She is doubting everything because you gave her reason to. Ask her how you can help her feel safer about your recovery. Instead of being frustrated that she is not where you would like her to be in her healing process, consider how blessed you are that she is still here at all!

You look younger and gullible, and utterly lacking in self-esteem! I would love you to write about “What married men tell other women, to get them to join them in the affair.” Such as my wife doesn’t pay attention to me, we no longer have intimacy, we stay together for the kids, my wife is going through menopause , she no longer turns me on… It’s very obvious to me that she’s just another number on his mistress list. I appreciate your faith in my powers of snark, but sarcasm has its limits. Simon axiom — “It’s not that they don’t see, it’s that they disagree.” It’s not that the OW doesn’t KNOW she’s an Other Woman, it’s that she disagrees that this will end catastrophically. And when you have that kind of super special once-in-a-lifetime connection on Ashley Madison? I know a married woman who’s having an affair with a married man, and she thinks he’ll leave his wife for her. Dear Friend, Your enlightenment energies would be better spent informing the OW’s clueless chump, rather than trying to convince the OW she’s not exceptional. In fact, I’m sure many chumps here have unearthed correspondence and discovered exactly what their married partners said to their witless enablers…

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