Dating a girl on the rebound
It’s like Malia Obama deferring college for a year; I deferred being alone.”Clara pointed out that usually a rebound immediately follows either a debilitating heartbreak or a relationship that felt mind-numbingly stagnant, after either of which, to suddenly have even a low level attraction to someone can feel transcendent when compared to the hell you just crawled out of.
“I hadn’t been in love with my ex in a while, so it was thrilling to feel any connection with someone.
And then when I was truly alone, and had to face the reality of what had happened, it was terrifying.
But the rebound was kind of perfect, because it was like baby steps.
Last summer, Clara split with her boyfriend of seven years, and a month later was “totally in love” with a socially awkward poet. “Yeah, that was 100 percent a rebound,” Clara sighed, as we scarfed down chicken wings in Brooklyn.
Maria wasn’t discouraged: A week later at a family party, she ran into a guy she used to babysit when he was 12, who had since grown into a 23-year-old (with abs).
“He was following me around the party like a puppy,” she told me, “and then he started rubbing my leg under the table. I helped you with your math homework.’ In a better mind frame I probably wouldn’t have fucked him, but I was like, ‘Ya know what—whatever, let’s just do this whole fantasy thing.’ And it turned out to be a really fun, hot experience.” She had hit her sexual stride.
The idea that I could still be with someone felt safer to me, which is probably something I should unpack with my shrink.”Of course, not everyone leaves a relationship and quickly lies to themselves about finding “the one”; for some people, it takes a village.
The technical term for this is “fucking through your feelings.” My friend Maria is an expert.